Torrential Thought

"Stop! Please Stop! Please Stop! Quit it! Please listen to me and stop!"A torrent rushes through my head. It is comprised of only a few words put into every possible order. Still, the plea is simple: let go of me. The screaming in my head is pure cacophony and everything else is completely drowned out. One sound eventually pervades my screams: he is undoing his zipper. It takes me an instant to process the sound. I look down.
"No! No! No! Stop! Put that thing back! I don't want this! You are supposed to be my friend! What did I do wrong? No! No! Don't!" Every muscle in body is tense. My fingers are are white as they press against his chest straining in futile desperation to get away. He is skinny, lacking significant muscle mass, his chest should belong to a 10 year old boy rather than a college student. None of this matters though because, small though he is, he is still much bigger than me. I am losing.
"Shit. What will hapen now?"
I am changed forever.

Aftermath

Blessings turn to curses in an instant. One flash of time passes and I am changed forever. Trust is crushed like a brittle autumn leaf and the illusion of safety crumbles next to it. Everything is different. Every single breath becomes an effort. Breath: one of the most basic elements of life. Breath is natural; we don't have to think about it much because our bodies take care of it for us. But now, I feel every moment of inhaling and it hurts. My chest is heavy like it is being weighted down by some invisible dumbbell. It is stifling. I never imagined that it could be this painful to live.