Monday, December 15, 2008
Demons
There are demons in my head and I can't get them out. I just want to cut apart my flesh and let the evil bleed out, but I can't. I promised I wouldn't. I fucking promised. Everybody knows what I shouldn't do, but none of them are here to help me do something else. Some serious things have happened and I want to be depressed about it for a little bit, but the anti-depressants won't let me. They block everything out so I just feel numb. I can't be upset anymore, just numb. I can't feel right. But I need the pills or I would never be happy ever. Also, I am being medicated for PTSD and OCD so I need the pills to be a normal functioning member of society. My focus is aweful. I become fixated on certain things or people and I cannot just forget about them. Demons. They run rampant in my head and I am powerless. It is the worst at night. All night long they turn my dreams into nightmares. I started waking up hyperventilating again. I am forced out of the sleep my body desperately craves as I fight for the simple task of inhaling and continuing life. I am trapped in all this and demons are caged in my body. I want them out!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I am pleased you have re-appeared in blogland.
I am sorry about the hard time you are going through. Keep talking eh!
How are you doing now? Sometimes nightmares can be a side effect of medications. Have you considered talking to your dr about this?
Oh, believe me, I have talked definitely talked to doctors about this. I'm sort of a small person, so medicating me is difficult. My body resists sleeping pills at low doses, but high doses are dangerous for me. Its quite a pickle, and it certainly sucks!
Post a Comment