A Little More

I realized the last blog was too fucking long. Sorry.
Anyhow, I am not perfect. I never will be. I don't know how all of this will affect me when I'm 30. All I can do is work on myself day by day and meet this wretched life head on.
I'm jaded. Its not just that I think the world is unfair and fucked up, I KNOW it.
I feel guilty because I reacted. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. I am relatively close to the friend I was talking to and I am not used to lying to him. As a rule, I do NOT lie unless I absolutely have to. And there are some people in the world whom I choose to trust that I am 100% honest with ALL the time. This time, I needed to lie. I should have pretended that everything was ok. After all, he doesn't understand at all and it would be unfair of me to ask him to. I feel bad because it mattered to me. I feel guilty that I feel bad. I feel angry because I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I feel angry. Damn it all.